The last time I ate Chinese, my fortune freaked me right the hell out.
It read: Someone is watching you from afar.
What happened to all the sunny, shiny-time happy fortunes? I’d like to know who writes these things and how they thought that was worth enclosing in a cardboard tasting hollow cookie...and I'd also like to thank them, because that fortune will now be included in the second draft of Exposing Smug.
I think "Someone's watching you from afar" means not that you have a stalker, but that you have a secret admirer. It's only been in the past twenty years that "watching from afar" means stalking instead of "love." Fortune cookies are behind the times. Clearly, about twenty or thirty years behind.
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